Patient Stories 
After the love of his life passed on, Don Behrens paid tribute to her legacy with generous contributions to Monument Health Foundation and the Home+ Hospice Program.
Grief is powerful. The pain of losing a loved one sticks with you for a long time. Or, if we are so unfortunate ourselves as to face an end-of-life-diagnosis, we may even grieve for our own lives and what little time we have left.
However, grief is not what Don Behrens’s beloved partner, Margaret “Peggy” Lee Bowser, fell to when she was diagnosed with terminal bladder cancer in 2023. Instead, she faced her end with inspiring energy and, when that was no longer possible, in contented comfort surrounded by care and respect at Monument Health Home+ Hospice House.
Don, a former funeral business and storage facilities owner-operator, and Peggy had known each other for a long time before their relationship evolved. “Prior to having cancer, Peggy was still very active,” said Don. “We would go skydiving, hiking. We did a lot of off-roading. We’ve been upside down in a Jeep. We’ve been overseas to Europe — Germany. We hiked to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Her thought on life was that if you stay active and you have your mind working, you’ll always be young, and she always was.”
In the late summer of 2023, Peggy fell ill. She went to the Emergency Department at Rapid City Hospital, and physicians there ran tests that revealed terminal bladder cancer.
There were no treatment options, yet Peggy and Don sought further opinions. “We spoke to other physicians in different places, like Phoenix. And everybody that looked at the records said, ‘We’re not going to be able to help you.’”
On the advice of doctors, Peggy and Don arranged hospice care at Monument Health Home+ Hospice for when Peggy inevitably began to deteriorate.
Then, the two of them embarked on a series of bucket list trips to see as many United States locations as possible — too many places to remember, according to Don. One of those trips brought them to Portland, Oregon. “She told me that there was a doctor she wanted to see,” said Don.
Unbeknownst to Don, Peggy had booked herself a consultation with an end-of-life organization called Death with Dignity. Their purpose is to assist and advocate during the end of life journey for those with terminal illnesses.
At the time, Peggy was not sick enough to meet Death with Dignity’s requirements for their service. She did, however, sign up so that when the time came, Don would charter a plane from Rapid City back to Oregon. “You stay overnight in Portland, and the next morning they have what they call ‘the cocktail’ ready to go. Then you come in and you drink it,” Don said. “And that’s the end.”
Maybe it was an impulse born out of Peggy’s adventurous spirit, or maybe she didn’t want to put Don through watching her suffer; whatever the reason, Don insisted Peggy did not turn to Death with Dignity out of fearfulness. “Peggy had no fear,” he said. “Once we’d explored all the option and knew there’s nothing we could do, she realized this is what’s going to happen.”
Peggy and Don returned to their life and stayed in touch with Death with Dignity. Peggy’s health took the expected turn, and she was admitted to Hospice House. “When we entered hospice care, it was like you were part of the family. The staff was phenomenal. It was an easy process,” said Don. “We ate all of our meals together, which was nice. We could sit there and visit. You were just at ease, because you knew there was good care.”
Still, Don assumed that Death with Dignity was what Peggy wanted. “In the last week, as her health started to slide, I asked her if she still wanted to go to Portland. And she said, ‘I like it here. The people are good to me. I’m staying put.’ She was so comfortable and well treated. It was her choice.”
Don was at Peggy’s side during her final hours on February 9, 2024. They had been together for 25 years.
“In the funeral business, I’ve buried countless people. You think you’re numb to it. Peggy was the biggest loss I’ve ever had. I’ve lost family and friends, but nothing’s hit me like this, and it shocked me,” said Don. “We had a great run, we really did. So I try to concentrate on that.”
After Peggy’s passing, Don gave a financial gift to Hospice House through Monument Health Foundation in Peggy’s name. Peggy had asked Don to make the donations after she was gone. “She was very impressed with the care. We wanted to pay that forward and keep it going for others,” Don said. “The whole hospice program is phenomenal. When you have a choice to get on a plane and be done in short order, and you choose to stay — that tells you a lot.”
“Don and Peggy’s story is a powerful reminder of how meaningful care can leave a lasting impact,” said Karlee Baumann, MBA-HCM, Development Officer, Monument Health Foundation. “Their decision to give back was a heartfelt expression of gratitude — an enduring way to honor the kind of care that we all deserve in our final moments.”
Don continues to stop by Hospice House just to say hello and chat with staff and volunteers, with whom he has made bonds that help him cope. Recently he was there to pay tribute to Peggy’s memory with the addition of a Memorial Stone adorned with her name to the Memorial Tree, which resides in the Hospice House Great Room. There, her name will remain alongside the names of other departed loved ones who also benefited from the gentle grace of hospice care.
To donate in honor of someone who received exemplary end-of-life care, go to monument.health/memorialgiving.